If you can just stop loving her then you never really loved her at all. Love doesn’t work that way. If you ever truly love someone, then it never goes away. It can become something else. There are all different sorts of love. It can even become hate—a thin line and all that—and, really, hate is just another kind of caring.
Moving home, always home alone. There are plenty of friends, but sometimes all you want is someone next to you by your side, someone to come home to. A best friend here, a best friend there, we all hold such separate lives that we have become accustomed to only seeing each other those very few times a year. But now back at home, where all you want is a constant, where is it? Who is there to go to but yourself, but always craving something else, something more, maybe a new hope, a new beginning? I’m all worn out.
13 things my uncle told me before he died:
not everyone has the blessing to understand sadness
when waiting at the bus stop, it’s okay to smoke cigarettes
never touch anyone else’s clothes at the laundromat
it’s okay to miss the people who were bullets to you
when your grandmother asks you how you are, be honest
never be afraid to say “no” even after you’ve said “yes”
if someone tells you graffiti isn’t art, prove them wrong
remember people by their eye color not their clothes
you’re allowed to like dark chocolate with tangerines
don’t lie that you don’t have a lighter when you really do
turn your phone off every once in a while and find the moon
if you want a tattoo, don’t let anyone tell you not to get it
if you ever find yourself at the graveyard, read the names
Once upon a time there was a crooked tree and a straight tree. And they grew next to each other. And every day the straight tree would look at the crooked tree and he would say, ‘You’re crooked. You’ve always been crooked and you’ll continue to be crooked. But look at me! Look at me!’ said the straight tree. He said, ‘I’m tall and I’m straight.’ And then one day the lumberjacks came into the forest and looked around, and the manager in charge said, ‘Cut all the straight trees.’ And that crooked tree is still there to this day, growing strong and growing strange.
Become friends with people who aren’t your age. Hang out with people whose first language isn’t the same as yours. Get to know someone who doesn’t come from your social class. This is how you see the world. This is how you grow.
I can’t ask you to stay indefinitely
but I won’t stop asking for more
time. The universe is full of empty
spaces and my hand shouldn’t be
one of them. My heart shouldn’t
be one of them; my hips, the
small of my back, the base of my
neck - what terrible craters to be
so empty, especially with you right
here. I’m not asking for forever,
just a little while longer - my
fingers in your hair should be
reason enough, but I’ll give you
a few more if you need them.